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Attention Men: Don’t let Dating Scams Destroy your Retirement Plans 

Attention Men: Don’t let Dating Scams Destroy your Retirement Plans 

Written By R. A. Stewart

Millions of dollars are lost to romance scams every year and the target of these scams are older men. This is understandable, because retired men are likely to have built their assets up by the time they reach a certain age. 

If you are at that age when you are making yourself available for dating, just be careful because not everyone who joins a dating site is looking for romance, some are scammers who are searching for potential victims. 

If you are contacted by a lady who says she is looking for a marriage-minded man then there are some telltale signs which will indicate that she is not who she says she is and rather than finding a place in your heart she has her eye on your bank account.

Here are the main indicators of a scammer:

  1. She is about 30+ years younger than you and claims that age difference does not matter.
  2. She claims she is from a European country and is working in Africa as a nurse or school teacher.
  3. She claims that she is Christian but the contents of her letter/email do not line up with Christian values.
  4. She does not dress modestly (that is putting it mildly)
  5. She asks you for money.

The fifth one is a sure sign that you are dealing with a scammer.

Once she has gained your trust she will then make up excuses for why she needs the money.

This unfortunate lady will create circumstances why she needs the money, here are some:

My late father has died and I have no money to bury him.

My child is sick and I need money for medical expenses.

I need money for the plane ticket to meet you, etc, etc, etc.

Be aware of anyone who tries to make you feel guilty in order to get you to send them money.

If she says, “If you don’t send me money, my child will die.”

What human being wouldn’t want to help someone in this unfortunate situation?

Most people will feel guilty if they do not do as the lady suggests.

She is using what is known as, “Manipulation by guilt.” It is when someone tries to get you to do something by making you feel guilty.

There is one message for all men: “Don’t give in to any kind of emotional blackmail.” 

As far as dating websites are concerned, there is no shortage of options. It is important to choose a site which is based in your own country or at least a country which has laws that protect consumers.

Don’t sign up to any site which asks you to pay to send messages. What you will be doing is communicating with women who are being paid by the site owner to correspond with men.

Losing money to fraud is both emotionally and financially damaging for victims, even more so when someone you thought you could trust is the scammer. Heartless criminals are taking advantage of people looking for a life.

About this article: You may use this article as content for your blog or ebook. Read my other articles  on www.robertastewart.com

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Pros and Cons of Mature Dating

The Pros and Cons of forming a new relationship late in life

Written by R. A. Stewart

A guy in a backpacking hostel asked me if I was married, and I said, “I don’t see the point at my age”. He said, “Some people get married in their nineties.”. 

I told him, “I just don’t see the point in that”.

Honestly, why would one ever consider it at that stage of life?

I have heard it said, “Everyone deserves happiness in their life”.

That seems to suggest that the couple were unhappy being single and if that is the case then they have a problem.

There is a saying, “love is blind,” and that is an apt summary of these late in life marriages because there are financial implications for these relationships. The main one being property ownership because each partner in the relationship is now entitled to half of all assets owned by them both. That may be fair enough but that inheritance which was intended for children or grandchildren may not be legally binding. As I understand it, when a couple enters into a new relationship, (marriage) then it means their previous will is now null and void and that they have to write a new one.

It is likely that when one of the partner’s passes on then the relatives of the remaining partner will get everything.

That means nothing for the family of the deceased.

Now, this may sound morbid or selfish when one speaks about money and relationships, but all of this has to be thought through. 

It is rather naive to think that there are no gold diggers out there who are willing to take vulnerable men to the cleaners, and these women will hang out on the same dating websites as their prey.

As for who gets what when someone passes; here is the order of priority.

  1. The spouse or partner 
  2. Children of the deceased
  3. Parents of the deceased
  4. Siblings of the deceased

Note: In New Zealand, if a couple have been living together in a de facto relationship for at least three years then everything they own is considered matrimonial property. 

This includes Kiwisaver, New Zealand’s retirement scheme, but only those contributions made during the term of the relationship.

It is no secret that there are men of an older generation who have been the victims of dating scams. The number one red flag in these scams is that a woman half your age contacts you out of the blue.

The number two red flag is that she wants to hasten the relationship, and the number three red flag is that she sends you some revealing photographs of herself. 

If someone can tap into your ego, and make you feel good about yourself they are on their way to taking advantage of you. 

Another method scammers will use is to manipulate your emotions. She will come up with a hard luck story and tell you that she needs money or this or that will happen. This strategy is called “manipulation by guilt.”

It is when someone tries to get you to do something by making you feel guilty.

You would think that men in their later years have acquired enough experience of human character, but then, you know what they say, “Love is blind!”

A lot of romance scam victims are too embarrassed to come forward and go to their bank or the police, but if you know someone in this situation, let them know that it has happened to a lot of others too.It is also important to know what your grandparents are doing behind a computer screen because it could mean that your inheritance is being sent to some stranger in a far flung part of the globe. 

About this article:

This article is of the opinion and experience of the writer and may not be applicable to your personal circumstances, therefore discretion is advised. You are welcome to use this article as content for your blog or website.

Read my other articles on www.robertastewart.com